As I shared in my recent summer reading list, I — very happily — returned to Paris in June. I was able to be there for 5 weeks this time, and it was glorious! It was every bit as good as last year, and in some ways even better. I built on last year’s “Paris pivot” and went deeper. It was once again a retreat, where I regrouped and reenergized. But this year, I was ready to use the time and space to more fully conceptualize my next book and lay the groundwork for writing it.
There was comfort in returning to the same place – I knew I could do it. There were no “OMG” thoughts when my husband dropped me off at the airport this time. I knew that my ability to speak French (at the level of an 8-year-old, LOL!) would be adequate. I knew how I would meet my basic needs – where I could buy my groceries, how I would run the washing machine, and other important acts of daily living.
I repeated what worked last time – no lists, no alarm clock, no fixed schedule. Lots of reading, journaling, and walking. Savoring the sensory experiences: taking photos, attending concerts, and eating leisurely meals. Experiencing the art in everyday life.
I also knew how to handle and prevent any loneliness that might arise. Because this time, I didn’t invite anyone to join me until the end. I had learned the value of being on my own last year — more time for deeper reflection and “creative solitude.” Since I’m such a social person, it has taken me a while to realize that I need more of this alone time — and to make space for that.
Like last year, I paired my experiences with a return to some meaningful reading, including The Book of Joy (a remarkable dialogue between Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama – two deeply spiritual leaders who have witnessed the worst human suffering and yet still find ways to be joyful). I also returned to Suleika Jaouad’s beautiful Book of Alchemy, which has sparked my creativity by providing me with many colorful and wonderful journal prompts.
Once again, the combination of experience, reflection, and wisdom I’ve gained from being in Paris has strengthened my sense of our shared humanity. I also developed many new insights and adopted some new tools. I feel well-prepared to head into this fall, with all of its promise. Read on if you’d like to learn more!
GOALS
Since my time in Paris was meant to be a retreat rather than a vacation, I made some goals. Here’s what I set out to do, and what progress I made.
- Prepare for Book Writing – I wanted to lay more of a foundation for writing my next book, especially since I want the writing of this book to be joyful, not a burden. This included testing and re-committing to its purpose. I accomplished that, and I’m grateful, since I know how much work this endeavor will be. I also developed more of the conceptual scaffolding and started to find a writing process that will work for me in “regular life.” This included finding some new tools to use for my process:
- Voice memos. I am having fun experimenting with some technology that allows me to capture vignettes while I’m out walking, often after a jog. I’ve found that some of my best insights come during that time, and it allows me to capture them immediately, while they’re still fresh. Through the magic of technology, they are transcribed into notes that can go straight into my Word documents. Which means I never have to face a blank page!
- Conceptualizing on paper and in color. I’m finding that, despite the benefits of technology, I’m weary of working on electronic devices. I crave the use of real paper to map out my ideas, along with colored pencils. I also love capturing my thoughts in beautiful journals that I can carry around with me. I’m finding that these tools help me to signal a shift from what my traditional work tools have been. And that opens up more possibilities for creativity. It helps me to think differently. It allows me to capture feelings and intuition, and not stay stuck in my rational analytic mode, which has been my powerhouse and traditional go-to mode.
- Solidify Day Health Strategies Changes – Over the past two years, I’ve made some significant changes to how I run my company (Day Health Strategies). I’ve shifted to providing Executive Advisory services, rather than full strategic planning projects. I no longer have a team of employees, and I just moved out of our office space after 14 years. It’s been a transition, on so many levels, not the least of which was emotional. And yet, it was time. Time for my next chapter. Time to distill the essence of what I can offer leaders and organizations into this approach. I’m excited that this work feels important and meaningful, and it allows me a great deal more freedom and flexibility.
- Assess 2025 Progress – I wanted to look at what I had sustained from my 2025 “Paris pivot” experience, once I returned to “regular life” last year. And then to figure out what I need to reinforce, and what might need a new approach. A few insights:
- A pivot is a process. It does not happen overnight! I’m changing my approach to life, so that I can get more comfortable with not working all the time, focus on work that feels less like work, and engage in a more balanced and healthier life. This requires reprogramming some old habits and patterns, and it is taking more than a year. That said, my progress has been noticeable!
- Protecting myself from toxicity. The current political situation in the U.S. has been devastating to me. I continue to grapple with how to stay engaged — to push back, protest, and protect people from harm — while at the same time finding ways to preserve my sanity and have some degree of equanimity in my daily life. It’s a work in progress, and the perspective I’ve gained by being outside of the U.S. has helped.
- Prepare for My Next Decade – Since I was turning 60 this summer, I wanted to be in a frame of mind where I could celebrate this milestone birthday and not lament getting older. To fully embrace what it means to be in my “sixties era” and not be stuck in a mental model of aging that started when I was a child looking at my grandparents (who seemed so old to me!). Thanks to last year’s “Paris pivot,” I am happy to report that:
- I’m nourishing myself. I thought a lot about the troika of mind, body, spirit over the past year, and how to nourish each of those elements. Since I no longer have a mother checking in to be sure I’m taking care of myself, I must find other ways to do that. One small way is that I’m taking more yoga classes (something I never used to have patience for!). I’ve also been seeking wisdom about aging from people who are significantly older than I am, and I appreciate their insights. In addition, I’m spending more quality time with my closest friends — including hosting “sleepovers” — so that we can check in, with time for deeper conversations, and take care of each other.
- Savoring is taking hold. I love the notion of stretching out time, since I’m perennially frustrated that I never have enough time. I always want more hours in the day, and I dislike the notion of accepting limits. But I’m starting to tolerate the limits, and savoring helps.
CHALLENGES
I returned to Paris with my eyes wide open to what the experience could be, and what the challenges would likely be. I was fortunate that most things worked out. Here are the biggest challenges I faced:
- The Heat – I weathered some of the extreme heat that swept Europe this summer, including a solid week of 95+ degree days, with several over 100. There was no air conditioning in my apartment, which is true for most Parisians. So, I had to learn to pace myself during the days, adjust my activity levels, stay hydrated, seek out shady public spaces, and find some places with air conditioning when absolutely necessary. Climate change is real. I felt a new sense of solidarity with people facing this kind of heat.
- The Aloneness – Even though I sought the isolation, to enable what Suleika Jaouad calls “creative solitude,” there were still some lonely moments. My tendency is to reach out to people to fill the void, and that was harder to do in Paris, given the distance and the time zone. I stayed connected through some Zoom calls to the U.S., and I was delighted to spend some time in cafés with some friends and family who were passing through. But I also tried to embrace my alone time, so that I could work on my goals for this retreat. I’m a “connector” – of ideas and people. In Paris I wanted to focus on the ideas. I wanted to ensure that I would do the thinking and writing to capture those thoughts. I knew I needed to continue getting myself more comfortable with solitude, and for me, that takes self-discipline.
FROM SOLITUDE TO COMPANIONSHIP
During my last week in Paris, my husband joined me. I was ready for his companionship. I had so many conversation topics queued up! I also wanted to celebrate. It was exactly 40 years ago that we were college students in France, taking a quarter off from our engineering studies at Stanford. We lived in Tours, and took French art, literature, and language classes at Stanford’s campus there. It wasn’t until I saw the Musée d’Orsay’s banner in Paris (celebrating 40 years since its opening, 1986–2026) that it hit me. As I was journaling afterward, I realized that this first experience I had living abroad was the first time I felt so liberated. It was there that I realized I didn’t want to study engineering any longer – I wanted to change my major. That risked my parents’ disapproval, and much more. I did it, nonetheless. I became a Public Policy major and was so much happier. Being away, back in 1986, helped me to reimagine my life when I was 20. And four decades later, I am doing it again. Amazing!
WHAT I GAINED
My time in Paris has been deeply meaningful. The 8 Pillars in The Book of Joy once again provide a useful framework, and I include some of them below:
- Perspective – Throughout my five weeks, I gained perspective on the situation in the U.S., by removing myself from it. I once again experienced the interconnectedness of our shared humanity, across borders, through my reading, my interactions with Parisians and fellow travelers, and my immersion in the history of a nation that is much older than ours. Being outside of our current environment in the U.S. was very helpful. I was also able to gain a fresh perspective on my personal and professional life — the roles that I am playing and those I want to play in the future. All of this perspective benefited from my having this time, distance, and space.
- Acceptance – I’m working on the practice of acceptance. It’s hard for me, since there are so many things I’d like to do and so many things that I’d like to change as we try to “bend the arc of the moral universe” toward justice. I’m not all the way there, but I’m finding that tolerance is a good middle ground, and I’m working on that.
- Gratitude – Every day in Paris, I felt tremendous gratitude for being there. For the opportunity to be on a long retreat, to be strong and healthy as I enter my sixties era, and to have so many wonderful friends and family members that I could reconnect with when I returned. It’s a profound and healing feeling, and it keeps me grounded in goodness and possibility. That keeps open the possibility of “making good change.”
In sum, thanks to this retreat in Paris, I can affirm that:
- Personal change takes time and needs reinforcement.
- It’s possible to transcend toxicity! Our shared humanity brings joy, despite the pain.
I’m also beginning to recognize that these retreats are part of a spiritual journey. For all kinds of reasons, I hadn’t wanted to call it that. I still have much to learn, but I’m becoming more comfortable with the idea – and curious to see where it leads.
Would I do this retreat again? Mais oui! (But of course!) I hope to. Until then, the journey continues!
